Review: Hellraiser: The Dark Watch #4

I actually really liked this issue of Hellraiser The Dark Watch. I normally enjoy the series, but I really liked this one. Abandoning its traditional formula of narrator-less third person storytelling this issue went for a different approach. Following Cenobite high priest and former hell fighting detective Harry D'amore as he puts his old real world detective skills to use, trying to piece together some bits of his existence in hell that just don’t make sense. Why does he have human memories? Why did HE, an enemy of hell in life get chosen as its high priest? He may want the answers, but he may not at all like what they are. This formula was neat and pretty original stuff and it was cool to get to “hear” the thoughts of a cenobite.

Let’s me just say I still find it really silly that many of the citizens of hell just kind of seem to be normal people. Harry, his lieutenant, some of the lesser converts the encounter; all just seem to be fairly normal people that just got wrapped up in hell’s goings on. It feels goofy that the process of becoming a GENERAL OF HELLS ARMY doesn’t in some way make you particularly evil or that they don’t select those that are evil in the first place. End tangent.

Click to read more ...

Review: Godzilla: Half Century War (TPB)

Do you like Godzilla? Stupid question. We all love Godzilla. I bought my first Godzilla toy right before the Matthew Broderick version came out. It was about 5 inches and its eyes lit up red. Awesome toy. I took it to the movie with me. I destroyed so many military bases, Barbie houses, and Lego forts with this guy. It is crazy.

This comic takes us through the war with Godzilla. Yoshihara, Japanese solider, is our main character. Always with his sidekick, Kentaro, they go from year to year, town to town fighting off this monster. Recruited by Colonel Schooler to work for the A.M.F., Anti Megalosaurus Force. He obviously starts in Japan with the first Godzilla invasion, then Vietnam, Ghana, Bombay, and so on.

Each mission consists of destroying the creature or at least veering it away from civilians. The comic has lots of action. If you want to see a monster destroy a lot of shit then get this comic. My favorite place he went was Vietnam. We see Yoshihara older and more badass. His hair is grown on and he is a rebel. The monster is on the loose again and once they tract what Godzilla is going after they are all astonished. He is going after another monster looking like an Ankylosaurus. The two monster battle it out which is pretty sweet because clubbed tails are being flung around while radiation is being spewed out of Godzilla. Those are the best fights.

Click to read more ...

Review: Bikini Cowboy (OGN)

Nothing I can say about this book will do it justice. It took me almost a week to be able to sit down and talk about it because upon finishing it… I just didn’t have the words. How can I possible capture the journey this book took me through in a single review? The book made me force back tears more than once and I’m not embarrassed to say that in the least bit. It’s a touching story set in the backdrop of the wild, Wild West and yet populated with the strangest assortment of modern elements.

Set in 1812 on the American Frontier, it begins with a woman walking into a town carrying a surf board. That’s right, a surf board. She walks into the nearest bar after setting her board up outside by a horse and asks for an energy drink. During this process she also removes her coat and we can see that she’s wearing nothing but a bikini. Everyone in the bar is distracted to say the least. The bartender senses trouble, but she tells him that as long as she gets her energy drink there won’t be any. Since he has no idea what an energy drink is she tells him to mix water and sugar to together and he hops to it. Meanwhile, the bar patrons have wondered over to our half naked main character.

Click to read more ...

Review: Green Lantern #20

As is true of most other comic book readers, Geoff Johns’ Green Lantern: Rebirth reinvigorated my obsession, not just of my favorite superhero, but of mainstream comics in general. That was almost a decade ago. Since then, Johns has consistently served up a buffet of downright delicious Corps Wars, Blackest Nights and Brightest Days, each one, whether you like his direction or not, deepening the mythos of Green Lantern into something greater than it has ever been.

Green Lantern #20 is Geoff Johns’ swan song, and in a way, it’s a love letter to the story that put both him and his character onto the contemporary pop culture map. That’s not hyperbole - his run is simply that seminal. Not ironically for someone who created DC’s emotional spectrum, this one also takes you through quite a few feels, including the words of heartfelt congratulations after the story from people like Grant Morrison, Richard Donner and Neil Gaiman, which speaks to Johns’ credit within the pantheon of great creators.

Click to read more ...

Review: Nowhere Men #5

Just this week I sat down and finally caught up on Nowhere Men slamming through issues three and four in preparation for this issue, it’s one of those series that you can forget about easily if you’re not constantly reminded of its existence. The strange thing is that as well as it’s selling, the marketing push is very low compared to other Image titles. It’s unfortunate, but maybe now that it’s back on my reviewing cycle it will receive more attention.

For starters, I have to say that the previous issue was much better, but there were several interesting things about this issue as well. One thing that I will say about the writing for this book is that as much as the timeline jumps around, it’s amazingly organized and never breaks the flow of the story or is confusing. This issue begins in the past, but not the distant past. Emerson is in a meeting with a man from the ISS about buying the now destroyed space station, but he wants to keep it a secret. This is where we learn about one of his many secrets in which they tell the public that the space station is gone while Emerson purchases it and keeps it from the public.

Click to read more ...

Review: Minor Acts of Heroism #1

Usually stories about kids, especially when they have super powers… suck. The problem is that most adults don’t write believable children and make them way too smart for their age. The last time I read a good kid/teen superhero book was Geoff Johns run on Teen Titans and since then there has been a dry spell in comics (though I’ve yet to read the new Young Avengers). Part of this week’s Submit release titles, Minor Acts of Heroism was hysterical as I instantly became a fan of it and its child stars.

The story begins with Bradley and his step-son Simon visiting a friend’s house. Simon calls it Dracula’s house and points out all of the creepy aspects like the demon door knocker or the fact that there’s no electricity. Simon’s taken into the sitting room where he’s introduced to Julius’ (the owner of the home) nephew Sergio. Simon is on to their tricks as the two adults leave the room to “deal with stuff”, but decides to engorge himself on the deserts that have been left out. The two boys begin talking a bit as Simon is anything but shy and that’s all is Sergio. We cut to Julius and Bradley in the bed chambers undressing and suddenly there’s a bit of confusion about what this book is about. I found this part hilarious as it’s not what you’d think all. (Well played creators)

Click to read more ...

Review: Adventure Time #16

This week’s Ice King centric issue of Adventure Time was full of juicy tidbits. An Ice Queen crossover?! Ice King has a history with Hudson Abadeer?! OH MY! Yes readers it was chock full of meaty, meaty lore.

Issue #16 opened great with Jake and Finn having a rare bro-out sesh with the Ice King as both of them piloted their own goofy versions of what were essentially the Power Ranger`s Megazords. Finns of course being a massive Jake suit and Ice King’s being… well, ice. It was fun and the negligence of both parties to pay attention to a trapped Lumpy Space Princess was funny. One trap door latter and the kind of nemeses get to spend the day in an epic ice dungeon together and maybe score some mad loot!

This is also the beginning of what ends up being a really stand out issue for the Ice King. His monologue on his view of what it`s like to be a princess and how what he’s doing for them isn’t all bad and is actually pretty insightful and shows a rare wise old man side of Ice King that we rarely have the privilege of seeing.

Click to read more ...

Review: Miniature Jesus #2

I am fascinated by this comic…in a good or bad way…I don’t know yet. I think it may be just that the story is so fucked up that I can’t help but be drawn to it. I had no idea what to expect when getting into this comic. I did no research on it and randomly picked it from my list.

We meet Chomsky, a recovering alcoholic who talks to a lot of his imaginary friends. Maybe they aren’t imaginary but no one else has seen them yet. His friends consist of a rotting cat and a shoulder talking devil, no sign of the angel yet. He struggles with staying sober and finding belief in anything. His devil friend attempts to talk Chomsky into drinking and the rotting cat, well I have no idea why this creature is in the comic. I am guessing that the cat will be some sort of help. Chomsky lives day-by-day just going through the motions. He walks around a lot and in this issue stumbles across a church. He sits there asking himself why he needs so many facts in order to have faith in something. I find this ironic since most people who have supernatural things happened to them are more likely to believe in the unknown.

Click to read more ...

Review: Time Samplers #2

One of the most unfortunate symptoms of luxuriating along the rich underbelly of the comics industry is that indie titles, through sometimes no fault of their own, are often plagued with delays. It’s the nature of the beast unfortunately, but it also means that the story has to be gripping to hold your attention. So, after a five-month break between issues, how does Paranoid American’s consumerism conspiracy book, Time Samplers, hold up?

Well, it does feel like a sampler, but more the kind you get at your local T.G.I. Friday’s - a loaded reference, I know, about a book decrying the commodification of consumption. What I mean is, there seems to be a lot served up on one plate: a bit of the ol’ 1% vs. 99% here, some quasi-Masonic skullduggery there and a dash of clandestine “man behind the curtain” stuff just for fun, all wrapped up in zany misadventure.

Opening in a way very similar to last issue, the book begins by introducing an oracular character proselytizing the shared nature of the moon and humanity, waxing philosophical on “dark sides.” This syrupy but brief scene quickly changes, revealing that this introspective lady is actually a girl named Luna (obviously), who wakes up in the real world as some sports bra-wearing, hipstery righteous babe that rocks around selling her jewelry to pawn shops ... “ironically,” I’m guessing.

Click to read more ...

Review: The New Ghostbusters #4

The Real Ghostbusters (Peter, Ray, Winston, and Egon) have returned from the parallel dimension prison.  Last issue Janine faced off against the spectral Viking ancestor in a test of worthiness.  She failed.

But don’t fret about poor Janine because she faces no repercussion from that whole plot point.  Instead, the asylum inmate that Kylie had been dealing with becomes the focus.  That wicked little man unleashed a band of spectral monsters on the Real and New Ghostbusters.  The shining, colorful creeps look to kidnap the Real Ghostbusters.  A battle ensues.  Proton packs are fired. 

On panel one; we are introduced to the Collectors as a group of four creatures.  Narration reveals that the Collectors take a similar form to the ones they hunt.  In the next panel we see five humans with eyes glowing the same as the Collector counterparts above.  So how did five come from four?  These types of writing gaffes baffle me.

Click to read more ...